Page 119 - SpringBoard_ELA_Grade8_Flipbook

aCTIvITy 1.17
continued
expository Writing Focus: organization
my Notes
3. Now reread each introductory paragraph, evaluate its effectiveness, and mark it for revision. Use these questions to aid your evaluation:
• Is the hook engaging?
• If the hook is a quote, is it integrated smoothly?
• Is there a bridge that effectively links the hook to the thesis?
• Is the thesis a clear and precise interpretation of the topic?
• Is the use of language formal or informal?
• Is the language effective? Where can it be made clearer, or where can ideas be stated more smoothly?
Check Your Understanding
Revise one of the two paragraphs above based on your evaluation and discussion of how it could benefit by additional content, reworking sentences, and using more precise or formal diction.
Revising Thesis Statements
Examine the model thesis statement below and then see how the statement has been revised to have a complex sentence structure with a beginning dependent clause.
• Model thesis statement: Heroism involves selflessness and dedication to a challenge. It means helping others without desire for recognition or stardom.
• Revised model: Because heroism involves selflessness, it requires dedication to a challenge and helping others without desire for recognition or stardom.
4. What is the value of combining the two sentences in this way? How does it improve the communication of ideas in the thesis statement?
5. Now follow the model to revise the remaining thesis statements on the next page. Create a complex sentence structure by using a dependent marker to create a dependent clause at the beginning of the sentence. Revise other elements as needed for smooth expression while still keeping the same ideas.
92 SpringBoard® English Language Arts Grade 8
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